Thursday, December 28, 2006

Trashy Girls

My dear friend Megahn kindly took me out for lunch this afternoon. She is a peach. (Thanks, Megahn!) As we were throwing away our trash in the fast-food style trashbin, Megahn dropped her keys in the trash! Jimmy John's was packed (though someone could have earned an amazing tip), but they were kind enough to offer us rubber gloves. We sorted through the (fortunately, only half-full) bin for at least 5 minutes, asses high in the air (the bins are deep). But for my underwear (which fortunately were a tasteful VS solid silk), I would have had public plumber-butt, as I felt a breeze when the door opened. The keys were, of course, at the bottom of the bin. Admittedly gross at the time, but some stories, like cheese, get funnier with age. We immediately returned to the office and scrubbed. Good times.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas!

If you have not yet seen this, it is worth the watch (and for some reason, whenever I try to type an apostrophe, the search function in Firefox comes up. Weird).

Monday, December 11, 2006

odlady-odlady-oda-lay-dee-oh

Song running through my head all day: The Lonely Goatherd from the Sound of Music.

Yes, I know. Go sell crazy somewhere else. I'll see what I can do about that.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I Smoked Crack for Lunch!

I thought it would be a good idea to go shopping today! Although I have been 90% done with my Christmas shopping for about a week (gotta love the internets), there were a few items for which it was necessary for me to purchase in person. As a woman on a mission (complete with a list), I set out on my excursion, hoping to spend no more than 2 hours away from home.

12:25: I arrive at the Alltel retail store down the street from my house. I ordered a new cell phone for C for Christmas (full disclosure: he's already using it), but for some reason, the person who took my order over the phone mistakenly sent a wrist strap that contained a Swarovski crystal. Just what a manly C needs. The packing slip specifically states that it would be quickest for me to return unwanted items at my nearest retail store.

12:26: The Alltel "hostess" (yes, just like a hostess at a restaurant) takes down my name on her clipboard and my reason for being there and asks me to have a seat.

12:55: "Alex" finally calls me over to his cubicle and quickly informs me that he cannot take my return since I did not purchase it there. "Bullshit," methinks. Tersely, I refer him to the aforementioned packing slip. Surprised, he shows it to his manager. Sensing that I'm not someone he should f*** with, he credits my account.

1:00-2:00: Pleasant shopping experience in downtown Lincoln. Weather was great, coffee from CoHo, as always, just perfect. No homeless drunks badgering me at 14th & P.

2:05: Brainfart. Let's go to the mall. I have coupons!

2:20-4:00: Roamed mall, nearly in tears. Found what I needed, but not in a store for which I had coupons. Had the even better idea of looking for clothes for myself in a few select stores. Saw two coworkers and a law school classmate. The mass of humanity was simply overwhelming and completely obliterated my enthusiasm for the holidays and a beautiful Sunday.

Conclusion: The $40+ I spent on shipping my items ordered from the internets was well worth it.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Inflatable Christmas Yard Art

For the past few Christmases, various homeowners in the neighborhood have placed inflatable Santas, snowmen, etc, in their yards, in addition to the usual light display. The inflatable characters are attached to a blower, which is plugged in to the nearest electric socket, to keep the characters "afloat." They are kind of like fixed Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade characters.

During the day, when no one is home, these characters remain in a deflated heap on the lawn. They lie there as though they just passed out after a long night of drinking. It's really creepy.