Thursday, April 30, 2009

40 Weeks + 5 Days

No news. No report.

I had fun giggling with my friends at book club this evening - an excellent distraction from the non-activity occurring in and around my nether regions. We recommend The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. It's...interesting, and amazingly, those of us who read it were able to discuss it without disclosing a key plot twist to the non-readers in the group. Books are the reason we gather monthly, but our time together is more about catching up with each others' lives and enjoying good food and beverage!

Sadness: have just heard reports Justice Souter will be resigning from the Supreme Court. Boo.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

40 Weeks + 3

Dear Starbuck,

Some day you will go to school, and you will learn about a famous American patriot and inventor named Benjamin Franklin who once said:

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

Little Boy: you stink.

Love, Mama

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Our Bad Luck with Tortillas

C and I like tortillas. We line them with peanut butter, heat them in the microwave for 12 seconds, and, VOILA! we have a delicious wrap featuring our last name (and I might add that said wraps are even more delicious with a few chocolate chips sprinkled inside)! I like my tortillas with refried beans and cheese or in the form of baked enchiladas, and C tends to experiment with weird creations. However, on two strange occasions, we have had to toss out an otherwise good bag of flour tortillas:
  1. Stillwater, Oklahoma; 2001: C and I purchased a package of tortillas for Mexican food night in our scorpion-infested skank-a-licious apartment. As we opened the tortillas, we saw very distinct teeth marks in the packaging - someone had already taken a bite out of the tortillas - bag included. Yuck.
  2. Lincoln, Nebraska; 2009: I ate a delicious bean and cheese burrito for supper having selected the tortilla from an open bag presumably unsealed by C. When questioned, he denied opening the tortillas, and a recount indicated the bag of 10 was a bag of 9. We assume the tortillas were unsealed prior to purchase (fewer than 12 hours ago).
The lesson to be learned: INSPECT YOUR TORTILLAS, PEOPLE!

40 Weeks + 1

In all seriousness, we're fine. Really. Just anxious and A LOT impatient. And a little concerned about Starbuck's apathetic attitude towards punctuality. But we have time to work on that, I suppose, as consequences don't mean much to him right now since he's running this show. I'm feeling as well as can be expected, and I even scrubbed a couple of bathroom floors yesterday to see if that would, ahem, motivate my uterus. FAIL.

In other news:

C ROCKS!!! He brought home two varieties of ice cream PLUS gads of cheese from the grocery store last night AND ingredients for s'mores!

Despite being all cushy in the mama condo AND safely under the covers, Starbuck jumped at the sound of VERY CLOSE THUNDER this morning! He'd best not be a pansy when it comes to severe weather, as I prefer to watch storms from the porch, not the basement.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Hostas and Other Fun Things about Spring

Even though I'm a huge fan of Autumn, we've reached my favorite part of spring: blooming! I love the landscaping around my office this time of year; the daffodils are blooming, and the hostas are popping up from under the soil and mulch. The growth of the hostas between morning and evening absolutely amazes me - whole inches! Fully-grown, these hostas have a diameter of 4-5 feet, but right now, they look like stalks of asparagus waving at me. Our lawn is mostly green, thanks to C's timely mowing and fertilizing, and I love seeing the blooming redbuds, crepe myrtles, and other flowering trees as I drive to and from work. The lilacs will be blooming soon, and I'm hoping Starbuck will join me at the Farmers Market in a few weeks for fresh peonies!

Yay Spring!

(Though, I must admit: BOO to the 80 degree temperatures that have left me in perpetual hot flash mode. Am embarrassed to admit we've been running the AC all evening; so much for the belated Earth Day celebration.)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Preggo Brain

Since I'm barely able to start and complete a full sentence, much less a full paragraph, I hereby share with you a recap of my random thoughts and activities over the past few days. As my readership has nearly doubled in the past week (thank you!), I can only assume you people are here to find out whether I've had the baby. I have not. I'll let you know when I do, and I hope you'll stick around for more blogging fun.
  • Experienced my first contraction on Thursday morning...just as I sat down in my boss's office for my annual performance appraisal. Indescribable and unforgettable physical experience. Primal.
  • Pool table is back in the basement.
  • My OB is in Germany and will return next week. He told me about this trip less than 2 weeks ago. I have never met any of his partners. I guess it doesn't much matter who's standing on the other end of the shoot so long as he or she has good hands.
  • We are definitely "in" to our second childcare choice...assuming we pay the deposit on time. Our first choice has been uncommunicative for a week.
  • Have had two OMG WORLDS COLLIDING moments on Facebook in the past week.
  • I Twitter, but I'm not really sure why...I just don't get it.
  • We (OK, mostly C) are slowly but surely uncovering the contents of our home under layers and layers of construction dust.
  • Foods I love: cheese, ice cream, refried beans, cranberry-orange juice, Honey Nut Cheerios, chocolate chip cookies, Midnight Truffle Blizzards from DQ, ventiextrahothotcholateforKim, bananas, strawberries, dried apricots, raisins, biscuits.
  • Speaking of bananas, C found some nasty rotten bananas in a cooler that had been stored in our kitchen for the past 1+ month. Apparently mold was involved.
  • I can successfully unplug a toilet using an auger. I felt like a complete ass hosing off said auger in the front yard.
  • My waddle has taken on a life of its own. Not only do I waddle to the bathroom, I also waddle on my way BACK from the bathroom.
  • Mmmmm...cheese.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Online Baby Pool

A little friendly wagering never hurt anyone, right?

Join C and me in our online baby pool - click here and enter the game name "Starbuck" (for you Google Reader types) or click on the link to the right to participate. If you have any questions for or about C or me, please comment on this post, and we'll do our best to answer as truthfully as we can!

Have fun!

Sunday, April 12, 2009


What you can't see in this picture is the glorious shine emanating from all bathroom surfaces! I half-expect to hear the "Hallelujah" chorus when I turn on the light; it is only a coincidence today is Easter (RIP decapitated little chocolate bunnies).

There's a reason the words "sanity" and "sanitize" are so close to each other in the dictionary.

Now on to Starbuck's room which presently resembles a toxic waste dump. I don't understand how one 7-ish pound person who has no job, still lives IN his mother, eats his own poo, and sleeps off and on all day long has the wherewithal to accumulate so much stuff. Nor do I know why his mother has so many books and so few bookshelves...or for that matter, so much crap, and so few crapshelves.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Spastic Fetus

So I'm in a staff meeting this afternoon, and I state to the group, "_____ is still alive and kicking." On cue, Starbuck WIGS out! My entire belly convulsed/writhed/wriggled/shook like a bowl full of jelly, startling the interns sitting across the table from me.

Clearly he inherited his comic timing from me.

He's been a wild man all day long.

Monday, April 6, 2009

I Are Famous

Crazy weekend around here! I spent much of Saturday shopping while C and his dad attended a Husker baseball game. The carpet-layers (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh here) installed carpet in the basement on Saturday as well, and we spent Sunday piddlefarting around - making lists, doing laundry, packing labor bags, writing thank-you notes, etc.

As many of you know, one of my most beloved possessions is my Seatbelt Bag Large Tote in Pontiac Purple (now known as "Eggplant"). I have owned it for several years, and it is by far the most durable and stylish purse I have ever carried. It is often the topic of small talk while waiting in line at the post office or Starbucks, and much to C's chagrin, it is the recipient of many unsolicited compliments from complete strangers. Apparently, it has become my trademark.

I took a break from shopping Saturday afternoon to enjoy the Miller & Paine Special at Braeda. Since it stocks magazines in its "coffee lounge" area, Braeda is one of the few restaurants in which I don't mind eating alone since I can grab a magazine and appear to be deep in thought (well, as deep as one can get in a 2-month-old issue of InStyle). So I'm eating my mac and cheese, reading my InStyle, and I notice out of the corner of my eye this table of people trying to check me out without my noticing them. None of them were familiar to me; self-consciously, I assumed they were judging me for eating alone, so I ignored them. As I was finishing my cinnamon roll, the man sitting at the table stopped over to ask how long until the baby was born. We chatted a bit more, and it turns out he and his wife recognized me from the Motherhood store; she and I were in dressing rooms next to each other, and he was offering occasional fashion advice (mostly to her). I recognized them then, and his wife admitted that she remembered my purse! So much for Lincoln being a "big city!"

Well, since my mother informs me people only check my blog for the photography (as opposed to the titillating commentary on pregnancy, shopping, and my extensive collection of neuroses), I present you with a picture of Starbuck and me Saturday night standing in OUR CARPETED BASEMENT! WOOT WOOT WOOT!

By the way, Starbuck doesn't look like that today. I can't explain how or why, but he's just hanging feels like he's more centered.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Basement Update

As you can see, much progress has been made.

This photo was taken yesterday; today's improvements include bathroom fixtures and running water. C and I briefly debated which of us should initiate the new toilet. Since I hadn't peed for a whopping 30 minutes, I won. However, C quickly reminded me of the likely non-sanitary condition of the toilet, and we agreed to forgo formal initiation until the basement is complete.

I lifted the lid for the very first time to see that someone had already peed in there and failed to flush. Since the sink is still curing, I can only assume the pee-er heeded the "do not touch" advice and did not wash his hands...and exited our home using the door through which I had just arrived. The prime suspect stopped by for 30 minutes to hang the shower door.