Saturday, December 31, 2011

Put Some Pants On, Woman!

Dear Woman of a Certain Age,

Congratulations on your eating disorder commitment to fitness and nutrition! Your daughters are lithe teenagers who are stunning in their skinny jeans, tall boots, and tight shirts that leave little to the imagination. I'm sure many young gentlemen would enjoy "tapping that ass" in the sleeping dorm back at the frat house. Simply charming!

You, on the other hand, with your nearly identical jeggings, tall boots, cropped jacket, and messy ponytail? Are trying too hard. I am embarrassed for you. No one here would ever mistake you for your daughter's sister. Skinny though you are, you look ridiculous. I'm not asking you to abandon all sense of style for mom jeans and SAS shoes, but please? Could you put on a cardigan? Maybe enjoy a cheeseburger or six?

Yours truly,
KimmyGoat

Thursday, December 15, 2011

It's a Luke Skywalker!

As I predicted many weeks ago, Baby Jedi is a boy! I can't wait to meet him! Just look at that face!!! Those hands and feet! He spent most of the ultrasound appointment facing away from us, though was not shy at all about showing us his penis.

I feel great! I had an easy pregnancy with Callum; so far, this one is even easier...and I daresay: BORING! That's not a complaint - I'm grateful. I have an anterior placenta, meaning the placenta rests in that sweet spot where people think it's OK to rub your belly. The downside? I haven't been able to feel much movement, though he's been more forceful in the past week. Another downside: according to Dr. Google, this may increase the probability of another posterior baby (e.g. one looking up instead of down when he's born OWWWW MY HINEY), though I need to confirm that with the midwife. Not everything you read on the Google is the truth.

I can't believe we're halfway there! I need to post a belly shot - the difference between this one at 20 weeks and Callum at 20 weeks is WILD! And I thought I was huge back then. HA. HA HA.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Potty Trained

Congratulations to Callum! Potty training has been a resounding success! We put away his diapers the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and stayed close to home that entire weekend. He had no accidents at school last week, and no accidents at home this weekend! WOO HOO! He still wears a diaper during his nap and at night time, but those will be on their way out after he's more consistently dry upon waking.

This is also the first weekend we've ventured out for significant periods of time. Much success, though I've spent a lot of time in public bathrooms holding a squirmy boy at a 45-degree angle over the toilet to pee. I can't wait for the novelty of foreign bathrooms to wear off. This weekend alone, we sampled:

  • Starbucks at 12th & P: 3 visits (by the way, the doors lock from the outside now and require a code); 2 were for "fun." Bathroom was clean, newly renovated, and included a bonus stall.
  • Lincoln Children's Museum: 1 visit; I had to pee too, and for some reason, I didn't realize we'd selected the toddler (?) stall until I sat down...and was able to peek over the top of the door and see other adults. 
  • Cracker Barrel: 1 visit; unremarkable.
  • Bruegger's Bagels: 1 visit; false alarm. Upon exiting, Callum proudly announced to the entire restaurant, "ME NO POOP IN MY UNDERWEAR. NO POOP! NO POOP IN MY UNDIES!" Good-natured couple sitting near us enjoyed a laugh.
  • SuperTarget: 2 visits in 10 minutes; surprisingly, both were, AHEM, fruitful. I love the family bathroom. Callum might have cheered a bit too loudly after his second pee.

Yes, friends. That's correct: 8 visits to public bathrooms in less than 24 hours. So great is my fear of public bathrooms, I'm not sure that I visited that many during our 7 day trip to Ireland.