Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Various and Sundry

And now we get to that part of pregnancy where I can't quite complete a full thought...

On Peeing
I read a suggestion somewhere on the interwebz (Dooce? Amalah?) to lean forward while peeing in order to better empty your bladder. It works, but in order to do so effectively, I have drop my pants to the ground, and lean over Al Bundy style, if you can imagine Al Bundy reading the Sunday newspaper in the bathroom while taking giant dump. If we cross paths in a multi-stall bathroom, you might see my undies. Sorry.

On The Grammys
My taste in music remains solidly entrenched in the 1990s, and I'm sad that untucked flannel shirts for women haven't made their comeback yet. The Grammys aren't really my thing, but I enjoy a good awards show, and the Grammys seem a bit like the white trash of award shows (when compared to the uber-distinguished Oscars later this month). I loved Dave Grohl's speech. I loved Adele's performance (which sadly has been pulled from YouTube). I'm glad there are still a few musicians out there who actually, you know, SING and PLAY INSTRUMENTS and don't rely on lip syncing and autotune and computers to MAKE MUSIC. Isn't that the point? Music should be genuine...authentic...from the heart...and not a fancy computer program. If an artist can't perform live music with nothing but their own God-given talents, then it's little more than a dance recital (I'm looking at you Katy Perry...Nicki Minaj...and Madonna at the Super Bowl).

On Pooping
A distant memory.

On Girl Scout Cookies
This direct sale model wherein I can get cookies whenever I want? I'm a junkie. I have multiple cookie suppliers so no one of them knows how much I'm eating. I'd like to save a box or two to celebrate Baby Jedi's birthday, but I am defenseless against Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Patties (Hoedowns 25 years ago), and Peanut Butter Sandwiches (Savannahs 25 years ago). Damned little girls and their delicious cookies.

On Thomas the Tank Engine
Despite our efforts to keep most commercialized toys, books, and children's programming out of our home, Callum has discovered Thomas. Nothing really wrong with Thomas and his friends; I just find them exceedingly lame and annoying. Callum regularly tells us that "Thomas is my bestie engine on the Island of Sodor!" And it's really hard not to immediately log on to Amazon to buy that boy a train table and all the fixins' (THIS IS NOT A GIFT HINT; WE HAVE NO ROOM FOR SUCH A MONSTROSITY, GRANDMA AND GRANDPA!). Thank goodness both the Lincoln Children's Museum and Barnes and Noble have public train tables.

On Giant Turds
I am pleased to report that one of Callum's teachers reported that Callum pooped a big turd this afternoon! I'm not sure who was prouder - Callum or me. He told me a friend even looked at it! I hope he didn't inherit my amazing toilet clogging skillz.

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